What’s the Point of Life?
I often hear the phrase What’s the point? - particularly from clients who are depressed. Depression sucks away hope and, with it, any view of the future. Clients can often come for sessions feeling lost, unmotivated, and overwhelmed by a sense of pointlessness. But the question What’s the point? is not rhetorical - and it’s the answer that really matters.
The answers I hear vary hugely, shaped by a client’s upbringing, by the society they live in, their peers, neighbours, colleagues or friends. I’ve heard responses ranging from “success” or “achievement”, to pleasing others, finding a partner, or simply “surviving” or “existing”.
The best answer I’ve come up with is that the point of life is to enjoy it—both in the short and long-term.
The Temptations and Dangers of an Achievement-Centric Life
I remember speaking to a very depressed client, who had been brought up in a strict, Calvinistic household. He truly believed that work ethic, perseverance, and self-discipline were the point of life, and that he had to “earn” his place in the world.
While there is definitely value in having a strong work ethic, he appeared to have been made utterly miserable and depressed by his beliefs. He had worked tirelessly in his studies, aged only in his mid 20s, but felt hollow and disillusioned, despite his remarkable achievements. When we discussed the possibility of being allowed to enjoy some time with no purpose other than enjoyment, he got anxious about the idea, worried that it was “selfish” or “lazy”.
We discussed his fear, looking at the impact that his existing beliefs were having on his mental health. He found it difficult to shift his thinking but eventually came to a session saying that he’d found the words of Albert Einstein helpful: “A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success.” It didn’t stop him working – in fact he kept working pretty hard – but he found a balance between working and enjoying life - and his depression began to lift.
Enjoyment: Not Just Short-Term, But Long-Term Too
Enjoying life isn’t about abandoning responsibility and indulging in continual hedonism. If we only focus on the short-term, we might find ourselves in a difficult place long-term. So, sleeping in late might feel lovely, but if we make it a daily habit and lose our job as a result, that short-term enjoyment can lead to long-term stress. On the other hand, if we spend our entire lives “saving” for tomorrow, we risk losing the chance to actually live in today. Too many people spend years thinking, I’ll relax when I retire, only to reach that point and regret their decision.
Whilst we may have big goals, regular breaks from working on them are essential - walking to work listening to a podcast rather than driving - or getting a bit of extra sleep when your body needs it. These moments add enjoyment to life, without causing damage.
Finding Happiness in Simplicity
The idea of enjoying life reminds me of the “Bare Necessities” song from The Jungle Book and its message that the zest for life is found not in chasing big ambitions - it’s about enjoying the simple things. Whilst many of us live with a sense that more is better - more success, more wealth, more approval – enjoyment often comes from less: simplifying our goals, managing our time, and thinking about what we really value. It’s about reflecting on what truly matters to us, which can mean letting go of the expectations either society, or us, has imposed.
Control What You Can, Accept What You Cannot
In considering enjoyment as a guiding principle, one crucial component is learning to distinguish between what we can control and what we cannot. It’s a lesson that life often teaches us the hard way. We can easily become distressed by circumstances outwith our control—such as other people’s actions, unexpected life events, or even the passage of time. One of my favourite quotes is from Viktor Frankl, a psychologist who survived the Holocaust and said, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Frankl’s words remind me that we have control over our response to life, even if we can’t control its outcome. Finding enjoyment within the scope of what we can control will help our mental health.
Conclusion
So, what’s the point? In my experience, the answer is this: to enjoy life—both in the short and long-term. Our lives may change over time as we balance responsibility with enjoyment, ambition with contentment, and change with acceptance – but we need to try to enjoy the journey as much as possible. As George Bernard Shaw said, “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
If you’re still stuck by what the point is, ask yourself what’s called the Miracle Question – if I woke up tomorrow morning and everything was fine, what would have changed? This will give you a starting point to the answer - for you - of what the point of life is.